Fast Karate for the Gentleman

I understand with the utmost certainty that is is impossible to understand... that's because it's an ARG! Why not join in with our Discord community (though it might just end up being Nick) to try and solve it? If people are able to get ~80% we'll donate $100 on the spot! b('.')b But be careful... there's some tricky Yokai Factz in there, sprinkled with Friends From The Internet lore that might trip you up!!

Suggest games and learn more about streamtober/bd4pp here, and donate at bd4pp.com!

Also I got no idea what's going on with this podcast feed. Adult life I guess?Sorry if you saw this podcast update and got excited for a new episode of fast karate. :( You understand.

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This show also known as: Clearly The Most Boring Form Of Train

Hey it's Been A Year Since We Did A Podcast?? What? No Way?? Then what am I wasting time for making this post!

Also, hey! Don't forget bd4pp2018 is happening! We need you to suggest games, offer up fake anime titles for the LIVE DOWNTOWN NEMURU ULTIMATE ANIME SLEEPYTIME CHALLENGE, and donate to our causes, if you can!

Music Selection: I FEEL LIKE PUTTIN FINGERS IN UR MOUTH (BUT NOW HOW U THINK)

This show is about:

N-nani!?

gabba gabba GET IT

Hey, remember when I wrote a book! Well JON BRESCIA DOES and he's resurrecting the long-defunct Fast Karate Book Club just to stroke my ego for an hour or so!

Also, remember that our 24 HOUR LIVE STREAM FOR CHARITY IS COMING UP THIS WEEKEND ON NOVEMBER 10th AT BOSSDOORS.TV

Oh right, and I guess I should point out you can buy the book here! That's what author's do, right? Go back in after they've posted the episode and edit the post to contain the link to the thing they spent 5 years of their life on? I don't know. Oim Just A Gnoooooooome~

gabba gabba GET IT

No one will understand this and I was gonna put links but it's funnier if i don't?

2017 was a HUGE year for video games, so we've got a HUGE podcast counting down our Top 5 Games of 2017, featuring Dave and Graziella from Friends from the Internet, Dustin Bailey, formerly of This Week in Games, and Heidi Kemps currently of This Week in Games!

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This show also known as: The Ultimate Anti-Rohan Weapon

Well it took me two weeks to edit this for <REASON NOT FOUND??> but it's finally time to bring Diamond is Unbreakable to a close the only way we know how, by talking blithely about Wolfenstein, Our International Trauma, Steppin' In Poop (or the lack thereof???), and, of course, The Japanese idea of a hip-hop robot, featuring twitter questions from LISTENERS LIKE YOU! Music Selection: RETALIATION TECHNIQUE. This show is about:

Welp, that's just how it be sometimes.

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This show also known as: Hey Baby Check Out My Lasagna.

Behold, JoJo, the invincible power of my stand: Ignition (REMIX). Music Selection: The only game you know is Do or [Shit Down A Pipe To Fertilize Your Marigold Garden] This show is about:

Have the lessons of Dragon Ball taught us NOTHING???

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This show also known as: Gary Busy as Man In Tasseled Jacket

You know what's a good show? Vampire Hunter D. (consider the 20+ minutes of boring (and hypocritical??) final fantasy 14 talk your penance for deep dives on vampire hunter d horse lore to come) Music Selection: dont let em spook ya :o This show is about:

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This show also known as: People Getting Completely Fucked Up By Bears

Wow! Time sure flies when it's been over a month and a half and still no podcasts. But you know how we living in that Extremely Slow Anime Life. And boy do we got a pod for you! But if you wanna know our precious opinions on Yak Milk, Public Transportation, River City Ransom References, and that sweet, sweet Josuke's Bizarre Adventure you gotta finish your Outlaw Star vegetables first--in so much as Outlaw Star can be considered nutritious, which it cannot.  And I'm not even gonna bother apologizing for whatever robot shit happens with Joel's audio IT'S BEEN NEARLY 12 YEARS YOU KNOW WHERE WE AT. FUCK THE BUSSSSSSSS. (^ that one's free) Music Selection: BREAKDOWN. LAW SUIT. This show is about: KOICHI, NO. 😬😬😬😬😬😬

 Friends from the Internet Dave Riley and Graziella Mattie join Zac to stare longingly into the void with Nier: Automata. PLUS: Persona 5 and our most anticipated games from E3!

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This show also known as: Gotta Keep That Pelvic Floor Good

In this episode, Josuke's Bizarre Adventure forces us to respect the  technique. Music Selection: I DON'T WANNA WAIT (for Dave's router to reboot, I have to end the recording now before Audacity crashes) This show is about:   GET OUT OF HERE NOBODY ASKED FOR YOU TO BE INVENTED IN THE FIRST PLACE AND NOW YOU'RE GONNA GET ME KILLED

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This show also known as: Go And Get It, Koichi.

In this episode, Josuke's Bizarre Adventure forces us to consider our ethics (JUST ROB THE BANK OKUYASU),  question the depths of our humanity (MAKE IT HAPPEN KOCHER), broaden our compassion (SHIGECHIIIUUIIIUUIIIUIIII ;_:), and examine our ability to take repeated&alternating damaging/healing punches to (and/or explode) our balls  Music Selection: I know, I can't affoooooorrrd the stand. This show is about: The Triumph of the Thirst

Evan and David sit down to rattle off their favorite anime, manga, and games of 2016, but this time they've got some help from two fellow podcasters: Dave Riley and Joel White from Dave & Joel's Fast Karate for the Gentleman! Tackling anime first, then manga, then games, the four hosts cover everything from JoJo's Bizarre Adventure to Overwatch as they celebrate a year of some pretty good nerd stuff. Topics include: log leg envy, weighted bra straps, and midnight kara-age. Slight spoiler warnings for Erased, JoJo's, and And Yet the Town Moves.

Thanks to Evan and Dave for having us on!

Zac, Dave and Graz from Fast Karate for the Gentlemen and our own Dustin Bailey run down the best games they played in 2016, the Nintendo Switch and 2017's biggest games! The Last Guardian, Overwatch, Final Fantasy XV and much more!

Join us, your friends from the internet, in a questioncast! If you'd like to be on the next one, send your question to questions@bossdoors.tv! If you'd like there to actually be a next one, share this around so more people will listen to it and we'll actually get questions!

If you have the time, write us a review on iTunes using this link. iTunes reviews are a big factor in discovery metrics, and all it takes is a sentence to help us grow!

This Week's Major Skews:
Put More Pasta In Ya Books, BITCH.
If Your Socks Aren’t Lickin’ The Beans
With Major Life Changes, It's Always Itsudatte MAI PEISU.
ANIME DAWGZ

See you next time, kids!

In this episode, Josuke's Bizarre Adventure takes an extreme turn into HUGEEEEUGHHBLEGGHHEUEGHHHGGUERRRRRR

Gary and Kole from [the way, way more popular than us] Bonfireside Chat had me on to talk about the Dark Souls 3 DLC, and it was so rad that we had to talk about it for 4+ hours!

The podcast was. I mean. The DLC was kind of whatever for a lot of it. As described below!

"Gary Butterfield, Kole Ross, and Dave Riley talk about the remainder of the Ashes of Ariandel DLC."

Gary and Kole from [the way, way more popular than us] Bonfireside Chat had me on to talk about the Dark Souls 3 DLC, and it was so rad that we had to talk about it for 4+ hours!

The podcast was. I mean. The DLC was kind of whatever for a lot of it. As described below!

"Gary Butterfield, Kole Ross, and Dave Riley talk about the Ashes of Ariandel DLC for Dark Souls III, and we cover everything up through the Depths of the Painting."

An anime that bears no explanation. From the desperate challenge of Gerald Rathkolb, comes our SAME ROOM PODCAST FOR THE FIRST TIME IN GOD KNOWS HOW LONG (THAT I RECORDED ON MY PHONE SO IT SOUND SO'S CRAPPY), FEATURING Ai City.

It's time for our yearly 24 (25?!?!) hour charity video game stream over at bossdoors.tv! You can donate at bit.ly/bd4pp2016, suggest at bit.ly/bd4ppcalendar, and generally find more information over at daveandjoel.com or friendsfromtheinternet.com. See you then!

It's been a long time, but if you think about it, this 90+ minute podcast represents fully 2-3x the amount of jaw-jabbering you normally get, so if you tabulate it out that way it's like we're barely missing any podcasts at all!

And holy criminy, what a podcast indeed! In the world of Deus Ex: Mankind Divided there's way more to do than punch people and we talk about all of it! And I mean all of it. You've got your Dialogue Boss Battles you got your Hacking Computer Minigames you got your Climbing Through Conspiciously Available/Large Ventilation Ducts you got your Hey, Does This Game Actually Have A Story? I Mean Like, In The Traditional Sense and you know you got your Inappropriate Corporate Meddling From Our Japanese Game Company Share Holders.

What a rush! And I haven't even talked about the punching people yet!

Oh wait, that was the first thing I talked about!?

Anyway, it's a podcast!

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This show also known as: I Didn't Wanna Give Up The Tacos!

OH NO! It's been so long since the last episode of Fast Karate for the Gentleman that Joel's gonna buy an island in the middle of Lake Victoria and live out his lonesome party palace dreams. Will it be cool?? You'll just have to listen to find out! Because don't worry, he's not on the plane to Tanzania until we get done talking about JoJos! Sorry, I guess, that I haven't used Skype in an age, and so I didn't realize that the "automatically adjust my mic settings for me" got reticked in some crappy update or something. Also sorry that our brains are burnt and I have no idea what we talk about in this thing, even though I just edited it! I remember tempura shrimp and a magical food truck that cures your poops and a crappy stand user named after an equally crappy band (karma!) and an INVISIBLE BABY and what's mor--INVISIBLE BABYINVISIBLE BABYINVISIBLE BABYINVISIBLE BABYINVISIBLE BABYINVISIBLE BABYINVISIBLE BABYINVISIBLE BABYINVISIBLE BABYINVISIBLE BABYINVISIBLE BABYINVISIBLE BABYINVISIBLE BABYINVISIBLE BABYINVISIBLE BABYINVISIBLE BABYINVISIBLE BABYINVISIBLE BABYINVISIBLE BABYINVISIBLE BABYINVISIBLE BABYINVISIBLE BABYINVISIBLE BABYINVISIBLE BABYINVISIBLE BABYINVISIBLE BABYINVISIBLE BABYINVISIBLE BABYINVISIBLE BABYINVISIBLE BABYINVISIBLE BABYINVISIBLE BABYINVISIBLE BABYINVISIBLE BABYINVISIBLE BABYINVISIBLE BABYINVISIBLE BABYINVISIBLE BABYINVISIBLE BABYINVISIBLE BABYINVISIBLE BA{LINE ERROR} {ATTEMPTING RECOVERY} {RECOVERY FAILED} {COOL BABY STACK OVERFLOW DETECTED} {FORCING SHUTDOWN} {SEE YOU IN TWO MONTHS} {I GUESS THAT'S HOW LONG IT TAKES FOR US TO DO THESE NOW??} Music Selection: I DON'T WANT YOUR LIFE AND/OR IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT. This show is about: Go Fall Off Your Own Bridge You Big-Nosed-Ass, Whelp-Ass, Punk-Ass, Racist-Ass, Imperial-Ass, Tonic-Swilling-Ass, Hey!-Finish-The-Leftovers-In-The-Fridge-Before-You-Order-More-Takeout-You-Think-Money-Grows-On-Trees??-Ass, Colonialist Piece of Shit. I hope Mark Twain do hang you I'd buy a ticket.

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This show also known as: I Thought CARL was Fast, But...

Oh boy oh boy oh boy, it's time again for the semi-seasonal (give or take!) Podcast What Where We Talk About JoJos. But if you want your tasty Stand-sourced soft-boiled eggs, first you're gonna have to choke down your asparagus wrapped in dictionary pages, which in this case is 16~20 minutes of us whining about How Loot Games Suck Butts. But after that it's 100% all pure Jojos with absolutely no interruptions or digressions ever, so strap yourself in! Between the littlest fist bump of all time, Araki sitting in a tree like a Tiger Beat splash page, speculation on the veracity of Lucille Ball's Teeth, Dude, did you have sex with your puppet stand, and Tamami/Grizzled Mobster Koichi teaming up for the ultimate supernatural long-con, it's gonna be a bumpy ride!! Music Selection: Damn you, Fallout; I don't care anymore, I just want you to tell me the truth. This show is about:   Almost as good as him kicking back in a tree I guess (or better??)  

E3 is over so that means it's time to talk videogames with Todd Ciolek, Dave Riley and Heidi Kemps! The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild, Resident Evil 7, Overwatch and much more!

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This show also known as: It's A Matinee Of All The Ediths!

Man, you know Momodora must rock because, between our real-time chronicle of the adventures of General Ambrose Burnside, our fretting over the welfare of the planet (and/or whether or not Vikings were dicks (and/or the worrying amount of depth you can get into about how directly the people of Dune ate their own poop to survive)), and our cutting, existen[z]tial dread about the humanity of [Tien's best friend] Chiaotzu, we hardly spend any time talking about it at all!! All in all, wasn't Ravenous a good movie tho? Music Selection: (It really was) This show is about: BURNSIDE GOT THE DROP ON YA. Also Download The mp3 Or Whatever  

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This show also known as: They Call These The "Angel's Share."

In this slow-paced Fast Karate, we take the return from our (fairly common) month+ hiatus at a leisurely lope, only discussing JoJo's Part 4: Diamond Is Unbreakable as it suits us, and peppering the conversation with musings about flags with dragons on them, the fear of skeet shooting (and I should've known better to come at Joel when 00s rap is on the line), and, finally, the ongoing Steam Anime Sale, where you could buy Momodora why not, it's pretty good! Somewhere around there we do get an inclination of (possibly still alive) Joseph Joestar's sweaty, glistening muscles, sweep ourselves up in the legalistic furor of Bad and/or Worse Company, but mostly I'm consumed by THE MYSTERY OF THE EGG, which remains potent inside me till this very day (which is really only one day after we recorded the podcast). Anyway I guess the audio's bound to sound weird but I did the best I can, given Audition crashed halfway through and I had a minor heart attack when the project loaded with all blank files. No worries! Just slap some half-assed compression and noise reduction on it, delete a quarter of the mouse clicks and keyboard clacking, and call it a day. It's the Fast Karate Seal of Quality! Music Selection: Martika will only let her constant JoJos snubbing stand for so long; she has some amount of self-respect, however small. This show is about: BHUTANESE FLAG: NAILED IT.  

***WARNING***EXPECT***MASSIVE***(JOKE)***SPOILERS***

In perhaps our most Fast Karate Episode Ever, we volley back and forth our appreciation of the DMX/Jet Li Combination Movie Oeuvre, do a poor job explaining why a really great show (One Punch Man) is really great**, dream up the greatest Pablo Picasso/Lord of the Rings AU Crossover Of All Time, question the Market Value Of Saffron (and speculate on, shall we say, "locally sourced" replacements), and round things out with an prolonged discussion on what Ninja Battles SHOULD Be Like, closing with everyone's favorite topic, The Extended, Excoriating Psychic Torment Of The Children In Detective Conan.

Tharsis!

All apologies to Schrodinger, I loved what they did with your character on Breaking Bad.

KAGE-KAGEWANI CAN'T U SEE

SOMETIMES UR SHADOW CROC JUST HYPMOTIZE ME

Darkest Dungeon and questions from viewers like you!

Don't mind me just trying not to get my hopes up over the glut of Valkyrie/Valkyria-based content coming my way.

See you on November 7th, this Saturday, at bossdoors.tv!

Saradaba, JoJo's ;_; ;_; ;_; We send you off the only way we know how: on a flaming viking boat constructed of beautiful log legs.

HAPPY "10 YEARS OF THE SAME DUMB AUDIO QUALITY," FAST KARATE!

Thank you everyone who listened to this dumb podcast for the past decade and made it what it us.

Irish Blood; Engish Log Legs.

Hi everyone who likes Dinnercasts! The Bloodborne Dinnercast we’ve all been waiting for has finally hatched after being in the incubator for 5 months! Many thanks to those who submitted questions and patiently waited for us to finally release this, so go ahead and listen to it, please! Sorry for the delay and we love you! (*´ ˘ `*).｡oO ( ♡ )

For those who don't know what Dinnercasts are, its when we go out to a restaurant that we hope won’t be too noisy and record a conversation over dinner about a game or TV show that we just can’t stop talking about. Background noise in this one is tolerable (again, based on Dinnercast expectations) but gets a bit loud at the end (and the very beginning!)

For anyone keeping track/curious this was at Henry Public, the same place we did the True Detective S01 Dinnercast. We got pulled turkey sandwiches. Again. They were delicious.

(thanks to Wayne for the art)

Ori got the body that rocks your party.

ANNCast E3 2015 featuring me and Joel, Heidi and Todd, and, of course, chief Shenmu Fan Zac Bertschy

The moment you've all been waiting for. The man of the hour. The guy who basically redefined the world "GOOD!" for an entire generation. Daniel J D'Arby, get on up here!

It was the worst of JoJos, it was the worst of JoJos.

Huge ending spoilers for Stardust Crusaders/JJBA Part 3 towards the end of this episode (skip 51:00 to 52:30).

Poor Anubis, he'll never sire a scion now (at least not until the swelling goes down).

Talk about some video games (Monster Hunter good), hash about some naan.

Hail 2 AGGHH NO, WHAT IS THIS, PEE?

Mostly twitter questions but also some hot trending topics like Techromancer and Moribito.

A dark moon rises in the eastern sky.

The time has come.

Joel and I sashay over to GME to talk about a new Appleseed.

JOJO BABY EPISODE. JOJO BABY EPISODE. JOJO BABY EPISODE. JOJO BABY EPISODE. JOJO BABY EPISODE. JOJO BABY EPISODE. JOJO BABY EPISODE. JOJO BABY EPISODE. JOJO BABY EPISODE. JOJO BABY EPISODE. JOJO BABY EPISODE. JOJO BABY EPISODE. JOJO BABY EPISODE. JOJO BABY EPISODE. JOJO BABY EPISODE. JOJO BABY EPISODE. 

A new ANNCast appearance with Zac, Todd, and Heidi!

I'm ZA LOVERS.

ZA LOVERS.

ZOOR LAVAS.

Evil Within, Styx: Master of Shadows, The Loss of Stealth Games and Henry Rollins

Shadow of Jojo's Bizarre Adventure

Fudge Ripple: Redemption

JoJo's goes to Snipesville (mic thumps abound).

Destiny, mostly!

One cool trick to get your senpai to notice you

Yamishibai Season 2 Episode 4

#notallcyborgnazis

WARNING FOR SNOWPIERCER SPOILERS IN THIS JOJO CAST MAYBE GO WATCH IT ON AMAZON OR ITUNES OR WHATEVER FIRST.

YamishiDIGEST Season 2 Episode 3

Yamishibai Season 02 Episode 02

It's the last one, dude!

Yamishibai Season 02 Episode 01

24, World Cup?, Wolfenstein?, Snowpiercer?

TONY CLONES. TONY PUPPETS. TONY EVERYTHING.

24! And dumb stuff like Robocop, World War Z, Macarons, and Death Note.

Zac Todd and Dave talkin' about video games in this guest episode that's kinda about E3!

We must really hate E3 if we talk about it so much. 

Just kidding E3 is fine.

Anyway 24.

Brief Transistor before 24 Episode 3

The best time of the year is upon us! What better reason to finally convert over to episode 500 than a new season of 24?

Topics for Consideration:

President Audrey's Dad

My fanfic creation Edward Snowman-hands, please don't steal

Julian Assange: Sheriff of Nottingham

Marital Spite Terrorism

Mark

 

Bayonetta anime, Dark Souls 2

Twitter questions, Dark Souls 2, VR Porn

Graziella and I go out for turkey leg sandwiches and to discuss that hot new show sweeping the nation, True Detective.

WARNING: Do not listen if you don't wanna hear people eating food or hating on The King in Yellow.

Yamishiba, 2 seconds about Kill la Kill, tazing the b-holes

Games writer Heidi Kemps (@Zerochan) swings on by to talk about Lightning Returns in the first of maybe many special episodes to come?

Space Dandy but a lot of other anime and also Alias for some no-good reason.

I dunno it's probably not worth your time but whatever it's your dollar i'm not your dad

Game of the DOTA

Lord of the Rings, Lord of the Rings: The Card Game, EVENTUALLY... Asura (the movie)

Joel's baby-mergency (when you have a 1 month old baby, it is in a state of constant baby-mergency) pulled him away from this podcast the second it started, but never you fear! Dave, Todd, and Zac keep it cool and talk about cool stuff Joel's regrettable absence.

Here are the links you should keep an eye on for Extra Life!

Dark Souls meandering, JoJo's finale, Leonardo DiCaprio's ROLE OF A LIFETIME.

Twitter Show!

So many things to talk about! Like, like, like... Wonderful 101 and Valdis Story and Saints Row 4 and LET's NOT FORGET SIN THE MOVIE oops but my mic crapped it up sorry happy anniversary Fast Karate!

Papers Please, Gone Home, Bulgogi Burrito

Joel and I kicked it Affleck-style with Paul over at the Greatest Movie Ever podcast.

This is our panel from Otakon 2012 about games criticism. I finally published it! Maybe you'll like it!

Dishonored DLC, pretty much not spoilery Last of Us Talk, In Defense of the Torta

One year later, the book club comes full circle with another Mike Powers suggestion. This time, Joel, Mike, and Jon tackle Walter Jon Williams' Hardwired, a satisfying sci-fi tale hidden behind the worst cover art in human history.

Zac invited Joel and I, and fellow ANN write Todd Ceiolik, on to talk about E3 2013, BOOYYYYY: XBOX PS4 WIIU OTHER STUFF DONKEY KONG HELL I DON'T KNOW.l

Two great games together at least [sic].

Back from the dead! Jon is joined by forumite kaazuwulf to discuss his suggestion for the Book Club, Good Omens, but the conversation is quickly overtaken by whale-pony hybrids. Special guest appearance by Catherine!

Mardock Scramble Part 1

Metal Gear Rising, Etrian Odyssey IV (some spoilers for Etrian Odyssey I), other stuff. Mostly emails.

JoJo's Bizzare Adventure TV Podcast #3 About Beetle Bowels Weaved Into Fetching Scarves

JoJo's Bizarre Adventure Show #2: SPEEDWAGON EDITION.

Wii U, JoJo's Bizarre Adventure.

We've recorded our fourth show with Todd and Zac of Anime News Network. It's really long and Joel makes fun of me for saying mise-en-scene!

Dishonored (and most other recent stealth games)

Mark of the Ninja (also... Tenchu n' stuff)

Jason and co had me back on for another trivia-fileld episode where I don't crazy-embarass myself!

We went on the Greatest Movie Ever podcast again! Here's some straight dope about Conan!

Dust, 13 Assassins, SCREW YOU, SPAIN, STOP MESSING UP CASTLEVANIA.